(Phil Lelyveld note: this story is editorial/commentary, not technical rules)
More than 30 movies shot in 3D will be released this year. And they are all starting to look the same to Stuart Heritage.
There’s a lot riding on Tangled. Disney’s musical revamp of the Rapunzel tale – its 50th animated movie – cost a reported $260m, which makes it the second most expensive movie ever. But can we expect Tangled to be much different from the 30-plus other 3D movies due this year? We may even get a 3D Great Gatsby. The more 3D movies there are, though, the more the genre emerges as one boasting some rigid conventions. Here’s a ticklist of 10 . . .
1 The over-the-top trailer
When a 3D film is advertised before the screening of a 2D one, it will go to great lengths to make sure everyone understands exactly what a rollercoaster ride 3D is. In the case of Saw 3D, this meant releasing a trailerthat showed audience members being attached to their seats by metal harnesses, grabbed by giant pig-faced monsters, bundled into a car, then blasted back out into the auditorium. This doesn’t actually happen in the film. Or, indeed, any film.
2 Floating credits
Right from the start, the audience must understand how 3D works. This is best done, the thinking goes, by making the opening credits drift out. Then the audience, bewildered by the magic of it all, will reach up to grab at the words. Unless the’ve seen a 3D film before, of course. OrStar Wars.
3 An early jolt
Shortly after most 3D films begin, an object will come zapping out of the screen with no warning whatsoever. In 2009′s schlocky horror The Final Destination 3D, it was a flying screwdriver. This is to remind the audience that they are watching a 3D film, just in case the floating credits, oversized comedy glasses and massively inflated ticket price have allowed them to forget.
4 Gratuitous slow motion
Everything looks cooler in slow motion. That’s why TV companies usually advertise their HD service with slowed-down footage of wildlife. It’s also why 3D films take every opportunity to suddenly grind the action to a crawl, forcing us to marvel at every microsecond of this snazzy new technology. During Resident Evil: Afterlife, a baddie sucks his cheeks in and flings his sunglasses directly at the audience – in such slow motion that 4D will probably have been invented by the time they hit the floor.
5 Promises of subtlety
Increasingly, producers of 3D movies say their film has learned from gimmicky 3D failures such as Cat-Women of the Moon and Jaws 3D, where that thrilling third dimension seemed to be the only point. They’ll claim their film will only deploy the technology subtly, to demonstrate brilliant depth of field, and at no point will this unprecedentedly immersive experience be interrupted. Then, about 15 seconds in, the entire audience will flinch as a flying screwdriver thwaps past their ear.
6 Chekhov’s Gun rewritten
In 1889, Anton Chekhov declared: “One must not put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it.” But Chekhov’s Gun law has now been amended to read: “One must not put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it directly into the audience’s eyes, possibly in slow motion, while sucking in their cheeks and throwing their sunglasses away.”
7 The shoddy conversion
Sometimes a film that has been shot in boring old 2D will be digitally beefed up to 3D in post-production. This will often result in feeble and inconsistent effects, especially when the process has been rushed to meet an imminent release date. But there is a silver lining: critics spent so much time panning the heads-separated-from-bodies 3D shambles of last year’s Clash of the Titans remake that they totally failed to notice how awful the script, direction, plot, acting and costumes were.
8 Concert hand-grabs
Anyone who’s experienced 3D film of a concert for tweens – Jonas Brothers: The Concert Experience, say, or Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds – will be aware of the hand-grab. This is where the performer tries to replicate the thrill of being in the front row of a live gig by reaching down to the camera so that the audience can grab their three-dimensional hand as it comes out of the screen. But they can’t. Because it doesn’t.
9 Dance, dance, dance
The 3D movie loves to cha-cha-cha. Wherever possible, it will get jigging, and you can bet there will be plenty of limb-brandishing in the audience’s direction. Sometimes, the dance will be integral to the story, as with Step Up 3D and StreetDance 3D. Sometimes, it will be utterly superfluous, like Johnny Depp’s pointless, 27-second constipated bodypop at the end of Alice in Wonderland.
10 The panda without a point
There might be a case for making a 3D movie about giant blue aliens who have to protect a magical tree from a group of evil humans. Less so for one about a panda who can do karate. An animated 3D musical about a girl with long hair is one thing. But a 3D remake of The Great Gatsby – an 86-year-old book notable for its total lack of break-dancing, flying screwdrivers and slow-motion sunglasses – is quite another. What, other than inflated ticket prices, is the gain?
Original story here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/jan/23/tangled-rules-3d