[By JAY WEISSBERG, Variety]

There may be a more inept film this year than Francesco Gasperoni’s “Parking Lot 3D,” just as there may be life on Mars. Billed as the first commercial live-action 3D Italo feature, the pic is a clunker about a woman trapped in a parking garage and tormented by three guys playing a sadistic game. Poorly scripted, atrociously acted and helmed with zero feel for composition or 3D, Gasperoni’s sophomore effort generates many laughs, none of which are intentional. Despite mostly English-lingo dialogue, “Parking Lot” has the commercial prospects of an Edsel.

Englishwoman-in-Italy Lorna (Harriet MacMasters-Green, wooden) gets locked in a garage and then mysteriously Tasered. On coming to, she sees the message “Lorna Come & Play” on the bathroom wall, beginning a game of cat-and-mouse. Rather than succumbing to nonexistent tension, viewers will be asking: Why can’t she find her car? Attempts at background stories fall flat, while making Lorna a diabetic adds nothing, since the script itself forgets her approaching insulin shock. Gasperoni devised a cheap 3D camera to prove the medium’s economic efficiency, yet his maladroit use of visual planes renders the format pointless.

See the original post here: http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117945504/